I was discussing something today with someone who shares (very strangely) nearly exactly the same tastes in most things with me, and the conversation turned to more personal matters. It's possibly one of the most self-revealing conversations I've had.

Many people may know this already, but it's a new realization for me. Polygamy is a wonderful system, given that the human spirit has an infinite capacity for love... but there is also the human tendency towards possessiveness and the societal expectations. If you can surmount those, wonderful for you; you've found the perfect system in which love grows and grows as it's shared.

But not all people are capable or willing to share, and monogamy is so firmly entrenched in the American (North American) viewpoint that it is nigh-impossible to break out of that mould.

And then there is the fear of being hurt in a relationship that keeps many people completely out of it. Or the fear of being restrained, of their wings being clipped so that they won't leave a relationship.

It is wonderful for those people who have the passion and willpower to break the mould and find their own solutions, and make them work. I praise those people, and wish them all the happiness in the world. But not all of us have that same passion, or that desire.

Some things I did and said were so odd that I think that I'm going to let them vanish from my memory. But sitting in the hallway of the seventh floor of the hotel until five AM was great. Wandering from room to room (and all filled with people who knew what I was talking about! And some with very cute guys!) was great. As was the fact that you could hug anyone, and they didn't mind.

I had a blast!



Thursday, May 23, 2002 -- 02:09 a.m.

Ficstuff:

Interesting FY fic:

It WAS a Normal Day in the Market by Kaze-chan. Byakko seishi fic, first-person POV -- from Dourin's point of view, the events that surrounded the Byakko seishi. Very akin to the original series' feel, simplistic writing style but amusing.

Angel Wings -- Lackey fiction. Not that great, but an interesting concept, one might think. Definite anime influences, but interesting all the same. ^_^

The White Dog, by Becky Tailweaver -- Inuyasha fanfic. Well-written, good plot twists, long chapters. One of the best IY fics I've found, and well worth reading.

Irene Dutch -- one of the best nextgen fanfic writers for the Lois and Clark (FoLC) community, her stories are well-written and long (yay!). Read any. She can be found here.

Sailor Moon Z, by John Biles and Jeff Hosmer. What needs to be said? One of the best SM fics out there, but incomplete and slow to update.

Also, read John Biles' 'Summer People', an original work that has been put on hiatus, but is /so/ worth the read. Really.

Dark Dungeons

So, thank you anyone who sent me birthday wishes!!

I think that I'm just going to have to buy another volume 3 and send it to Oneesama. Because I think I'm cursed where mailing things goes. >.<

Porfirio, Timandra's fiance (though her Clan Leader, Zeysani, had forbidden the match in the end) won a Spring Festival Pentathalon. One of the prizes for such is a marriage to any unmarried person of the winner's choice, regardless of status.

Kyaaaaaaaa~~~



Friday, May 3, 2002 -- 10:26 p.m.

Music Recs!

Be warned: I'm on a alt-rock kick. Which is mostly popular songs nowadays. O.o

Dashboard Confessional: 'Ender Will Save Us All' -- Unfortunately, not Ender from Ender's Game (I'm not really sure why this song is so titled, but it's good anyway)
Simple Plan: I'm Just A Kid -- Much fun. I really enjoy this song. The lead vocalist has a Weird Al sort of twist to his voice, but that's good for the subject matter of this song.
Hoobastank: Crawling In The Dark -- A recommendation from a friend, as Hoobastank's 'Running Away' is rather overplayed these days, but a good song as well.
Sense Field: Save Yourself -- somewhat overplayed, but a wonderful song all the same.
Thursday: A Hole In The World
Lifehouse: Revolution Cry -- I really like this song. 'nuff said. There's just something about it that I really... don't get tired of.
John Mayer: My Stupid Mouth -- Cynical, self-deprecating... I like it. Also 'No Such Thing' is a good song.
Dandy Warhols: Bohemian Like You -- Simply plain fun.
Chad Kroeger (Nickelback): Hero -- From the Spiderman soundtrack, it's been played a lot of late, but again, a good song.



Thursday, May 2, 2002 -- 10:02 p.m.

*choke*

Oneesama, that is the most evil thing I've ever heard of and I can't believe you thought of it and now I have this image of Sakataki accidentally forgetting that he can talk coherently when he's back in human form and getting glomped by Hizuki while Kyoko turns blue with trying not to laugh too hard.

Not too bad, though, 'cos I've got a throat cold and am feeling like crap and would've stayed in bed anyway, plus the fact that I picked up a bunch of Lackey books on Friday that I blame Thomas for entirely since he got me reading them primarily for research on the system of magic he uses... but damnit, I love Skif and Skan and all the rest of the weird crew.

Oneesama~! You poor person. Feel better soon? I want my normal-sick Oneesama back. (wait. That sounds Wronger when I type it)

You too, Lyn-chama. Ye gods, it's a cross-country flu bug. (and I'm caught in the middle with my horrible immune system... stay away!) *cuddles* Poor you.

Oyy. BSing papers. That's the one thing I don't miss in this year off, though I do miss the whole 'classes' thing, for some reason. c.c;; Ganbatte, neechan!

KKJ fic needs to be written. You're doomed. Give it up. ;)



Thursday, April 25, 2002 -- 02:59 p.m.

Personal commentary below regarding teenage problems and parental unit(s).

I admit, yes, that my parents have been wonderful parents, my mother in particular. But my father and I are similar in the wrong ways: we have the same temper, though he can indulge his, and I cannot indulge mine. He, however, has always pushed himself to his limits and to the point of stressing out over the worst of things. And that is where he and I are incredibly different.

Being called 'useless' and 'a drain' and other such is probably one of the most painful things for me at the moment. I know I'm not, but I guess there's /just/ enough truth to the accusation that some part of me believes it. Admittedly, we seem to go through these phases of trouble every couple months, but in this case, I think it's actually the worst I've had. And it hurts. Badly.

Sarah, are you, perhaps, still looking for a roommate? o.o

Re: Who Takuto is. The song that Mitsuki sings in the first episode is 'Full Moon wo Sagashite', and Takuto looks completely stunned in that ep when he hears her singing it. In the second episode, he asks her what song it was, and why she sang it... and her reply is, "It's a song my father, a musician, wrote." And he responds, with a funny look on his face, "For some reason, I can't seem to remember whether or not I've heard it before."

So. Current theory: Takuto is not Eichi-kun. He's actually... *da-da-DUM* Mitsuki's father.

Dear gods, she's such a hypocrite. She complains about us not saying anything on the game that'll get us into trouble, and yet she rants and raves and calls us bitches and bastards in her LJ. Er. Yeah. Like that's not exactly what you accuse us of doing. c.c

Roxette -- I still like 'June Afternoon'. It's just happy music.
Russell Watson -- He's the singer for Enterprise's opening theme. Very nice voice.
Jefferson Airplane -- White Rabbit. Nuff said.
John Mayer -- 'No Such Thing' and 'Back To You' are good songs. I like his voice and I like his lyrics.

That's all for the music recs for now.

On to minor commentary/rantage/whimpers. Forgive incomplete sentences, lack of pronouns, etcetera; I'm not in the best of moods at the moment. While yes, I had fun going out to Pinball Pete's with the guys and DDR'ing, life seems to be heaping on the little pinpricks and harder-hitting bits. Isn't Spring supposed to be the season of rebirth and cheer? Ha.

People are dying of old age, people are being beaten up (though I don't know these people personally, their effects upon my friends are clear), my temper cannot be indulged when my father is concerned when he can indulge his, and nothing I do to cheer myself up is actually cheering me up; the moment I get into a decent mood, something else is dumped on me, or someone I thought I could trust is saying hurtful things, and I just don't have the strength to deal with it right now.

I think it would feel better if I could cry, but I can't. And that just makes things so fucking much worse.

I am NOT giving into bunnies. ;_;

Bob Marley's 'Red Red Wine' combined with the 'Los Banditos' Tasuki/Kouji skin which can be found here with loads of other fun skins.

'Cosmic Dare' from the Cowboy Bebop movie on Wet Satoshi Skin (This one just broke my brain, not for any appropriate reason). The skin can be found here. Ragabash's skins are such fun. <3

Guster's 'Stairway to Heaven' on a Mitsuki (Full Moon o Sagashite) skin which I can't remember the site from. It was one of the lovely links that Mistress Lyn-chama shared with me.

And it just came up with Styx's 'Show Me The Way' on Oneesama's 'There' skin. It's the HentaiBastardChiaki skin. c.c;;;

I'm afraid of my Winamp.



Tuesday, April 16, 2002 -- 02:48 p.m.

Minor Rantage on Original Characters Below:

When I started out on Pern MOOs, I thought that angst was so cool. While my first character was fairly normal all around (having been based on, for lack of anyone else, myself), my second character had a history that I weep to read now. She'd been abandoned by her parents and got stuck at Xanadu Hold in the Southern Continent, and her family disappeared into the jungles of the South, never to be seen again. As I said, it makes me cringe now.

Now I find that I enjoy a character far more if she's normal in many ways; I do enjoy angst, yes, but not rampant, over-all angst. Also, normal characters have so very many directions one can take them: Kerrye, for example, is not what one would consider normal, but she wanted to be normal, and managed it for fifteen years, got her memories of being a seishi back, and then managed to seem normal (relatively) for the next three years, until she ran into Kel (her cousin, though she didn't know it at the time) in the library, who promptly called Suzuno over to ensure that he was right about Kerrye being Amefuri and vice versa.

Suffice it to say that people seem to like Kerrye. They like teasing her, they like adopting her, they like making her react to situations. And that leads to good RP.

Normalcy is good when one is creating a character. Give the poor person family. Give them humanity. Make them, for gossake, normal!



Sunday, April 14, 2002 -- 11:52 p.m.

I know I don't post often to here; it's really quite embarrassing at times, but I simply don't often want to post entirely personal stuff on here because it would seem like I'm a self-serving whiner. ^^;; At least, to me.

But. Music recommendations:

And I get paid this week, so postage shan't be too much of a problem.

They're taking up space on my bookshelf that I need, you see. ^_^;;;

The situation on MPM has stabilized, thank goodness... though I doubt I'll ever really be friends with her and I expect her to continue to rant in locked-mode, but I won't snipe, and I hope she shan't, either. I'm sick of the entire situation.

I have the feeling this'll actually be a fairly long entry, for once; there're plenty of things to say about quite a few different subjects, though no deep thoughts, I'm afraid.

First, on the music scene: I've recently picked up a bunch of new music, from Great Big Sea to a British band by the name of 'Ten', to more Loreena McKennitt (always good). Ten, in particular, is a favorite now -- they range widely from hard rock to softer songs, and the lyrics are really wonderful, too. You can find their lyrics here, for those who might be interested. I've also been listening to quite a bit of Bif Naked lately, which is swiftly becoming a definite favorite.

Music aside, life has been interesting lately. I've been upgrading the home computers to Win xp, which is, apparently, a more stable platform than 98... and while it's gotten the old computer running well, this one has problems with some things nowadays. I'll have to figure out what's going on, or drag Al in, since I have no clue. Speaking of Al, it's amusing -- I drove him around as a thank-you for helping me with the computers, giving me access to anime, and myriad other things, and he was so startled that I would do so. ^^;;

Work is going well nowadays, too, which is very nice; I'm settling into the load well and I'm learning interesting things about spreadsheets. I came home bouncing the other day because I'd learned how to use pivot tables... and now I'm debating creating a spreadsheet for Firan for the Eagle Clan calculating how much it would cost, how much is needed and such for the @clan system, since I know that the Chimera clan has something similar. Well, it's another project for me to work on while driving to the Con with Ibby and Theo.

My mother and father are evil. They know full well that I want a computer of my own, and they took me to a computer expo today and said, 'Go ahead and wander...' and laughed at me while I whimpered at the temptation. But it wouldn't be ethical to use my tuition money on a computer just yet...

Which HP Kid Are You?

Ehehe. Cool, I guess. I really love the fanart, to be sure!! But anyway.

I keep trying to think of witty, Tin-ish things to say, but all I can come up with at the moment is a list:

1.) Oneesama breaks my brain.
2.) I dislike trolls on games which are intended to be fun.
3.) I really really really want Ribon 4.



Sunday, March 24, 2002 -- 12:44 a.m.

Fight Club (video gaming group) today was great fun; it's so nice to chat with guys who a.) aren't all that shy, b.) are very intelligent, and c.) tend to make fun comments. And the gaming itself is amusing, simply because I completely and utterly suck at it.

While at Fight Club, I got confirmation that Al was going to come over to fix the CD burner on this computer... which is wonderful news. So when I got home, I remembered all the dust bunnies beneath the desk and everywhere else around the computer, and thought, "Oh crap, this won't do at all." So the computer and the area around the computer are now sparkling clean and smelling like oranges. It's a good feeling of accomplishment.

That was, after all, much of the point of this year.

And yet, somehow, it seems so strange to think of going back to school. However, my applications are in, and I just have to notify Greenhills to get my transcripts and letters of recommendation in. I pray that I get into Guelph, Western or Queens. Preferably Guelph. Queens would be hiliarious, simply because my brother goes there and he'd have a ball laughing his ass off at me during Frosh Week.

Tasuki... telling Persephone about love. Erm. *coughcoughcough* Twisted, yes, yes.



Thursday, March 21, 2002 -- 06:31 p.m.

I knew that I was going to be in pain several days ago when I really started hitting the mood swings. And now, I am. Cramps. Owww. Pain. @_@ It hurts like hell.



Wednesday, March 20, 2002 -- 08:56 p.m.

I will be going to FiranCon this year in May. (Yes, there's a con for Firan players)

BWAHAHAHAHAA! FEAR THE EVIL THAT WILL BE WROUGHT!

Ahem. Put it this way: I'm driving with Ibania's player and another Firanite who's a Michigan person. And they both like CCS. And I have CCS soundtracks and vocal CDs and remixes galore. <3 <3 So it will be Evil to drive with them, and I think one of them has a DVD-capable laptop, which means I bring my Fushigi Yuugi DVDs and get them hooked on that crack. And I have to bring my Escaflowne tapes for some people who've mentioned wanting to borrow them, and much other stuff. ^^ And then there's just the FiranBabble and food and people and... oh, it's going to be SO much fun.

I'm even considering asking Baphyra's player to make me a stola/palla set to dress up in... my hair ought to be long enough to wear hairpins by then, too.

You see, I picked up a new character on MPM. Persephone, Hades' former wife. And in a scene where they're sniping each other and he's offering her money to reopen her business, guess what Winamp comes up with? Everclear's 'You Make Me Feel Like a Whore', followed by Perse's image song, 'Flinch', followed by Bif Naked's 'Moment of Weakness'. BAD winamp. No cookie.



Tuesday, March 19, 2002 -- 01:44 a.m.

I've begun to believe that the best thing about having a job is when someone tells you you do something well; while the feeling of actually having finished a project is all well and good, the fact that someone else notices that you've done it well and actually bothers to comment on it is the best. Feedback is always good.

Feedback of another sort -- fanfiction feedback -- should do so much more than it seems to now. Any criticism is often seen as completely negative. It's a pity.

Unfortunately, that seems to run over into grammatical correction as well - people who claim to know the rules of grammar often confuse the most basic of principles up. It drives me nuts, and it's so difficult (nay, impossible!) to correct a person without irritating them. :P

Interesting Facts In My Life: Work is lovely. I love my bosses (I've two, both of whom have the knack of saying the most Wrong things in the most cheerful of tones), and my schedule is flexible, I set my own work (within what they give me to do) for the day, and I get a lot of feedback as a result, which I love dearly; much of the problem with the work at ISR, now that I look back on it, was the fact that no-one told me I was doing anything wrong until it was too late to correct it.

Random other note...

Sensitivity can be a beautiful thing in life, it being the basis for empathy and thus, sympathy, but one must keep in mind that what seems to be happening not always is. For example, a look doesn't always mean that one is being condescending; a person may be listening to another conversation entirely and might be reacting to that instead of what you (perhaps self-centeredly) may be doing.

This is not an apology. If anything, the apologies should come from the other party, not from me.

Have I mentioned that I would seriously like to punch Amefuri@MPM in the teeth with brass knuckles? Jesus H. Christ, you superiority-complexed bitch, lay off! >_>

Given that all I did was to share fic recommendations with her and comment on what turned out to be a typo... a pity. She was saying that her one yaoi fanfic had been nominated for awards -- sorry, they just don't impress me much. ^^;; Too many spectacular oneesamatachi, I guess. ^_^ *smooches*

Eh. Funny thing is, she's got links to Firan. Oh well. Amusing, indeed.

Had a good time chatting with Kismet-dear yesterday on AIM and generally had much fun. Missed work today (Bernard is going to be angry... @_@) and I feel really bad about it.

Trying to think Deep Thoughts while on caffeine is a bad thing. Good music, though.

Well, new job is working out beautifully. My bosses are nice, and Sue, in particular, has a weird sense of humor. She has the habit of saying the most correct things in the Wrongest way possible. It's amusing, to say the least. And she looks so harmless!! The only trouble is that I'm picking up all the colds that everyone else has already gotten over in the office, and so I'm constantly sniffling, sneezing or doped up on Sudafed, which, admittedly, doesn't do much for my productivity. But it'll go away soon enough. ^^

Happy~~! I got happy waffy RP. Was good. Missed that. *yawn* But as it's nearly 3am, I'd say it's time to shut up now.

Another random note: I love... what was I going to say? Oh well. Couldn't've been important if I can't remember it. It's too early (late?) to be thinking straight. Though I could do it, but the past few days I've been going to bed at a 'decent' hour, and now I'm suddenly not, and my mind isn't taking it well. Bwah. Sleep. G'night!

Oh. I remembered what it was. The new Alanis Morissette CD. Is good. Me like. 'You Owe Me Nothing' is a Tomoyo-song. Or maybe a Yue song. Not sure. Get the CD if you can. Worth the $12 or whatever.

But... evil Winamp. Voltaire's 'When You're Evil' on Oneesama's Hizuki skin. Ahem.

Speaking of the Fushigi Yuugi game I play on. Ahhhah. Though it would be nice to have someone torture Tomas instead of him torturing all of US all the time. >.> Since he's expert at it and we're all just little things to be manipulated by him. Not really, and we love him anyway, but when you have a character like he plays (Thoth/Ptah) who has the Evil/Cute Manipulation personality of Eriol and the Magic Fun of Clow... it's Scary. I mean, the man even does the /niko/, for gossake. ^^;; And to think that I only wanted information and ideas. I think I'm gonna regret Oneesama meeting Tomas. XD XD XD But it'll be a fun sort of regret.

Daine/Numair Fic 1 (Right at the end of Realm of the Gods)
Daine/Numair Fic 2 (Two years after RotG)
Preggers Sakura Fic
Noin Fic (tentative title: Unshielded Darkness)
Elements of Happiness Chapter 2 (Oneesan, dear... there's more of it, but you've still got to write that TSK fic...
TSK bunny wherein how Hizuki and Sakataki managed to get to the Palace is Explained.
Chiaki monologue

But I'm laaaazy. <3



Monday, February 4, 2002 -- 01:10 a.m.

Well, I have power again at home -- but the cable modem is, of course, a mess, with the DHCP servers out /again/ (and, add in the idiocy of snowplough drivers and drivers in general and the ice storm...) and so I'm on my dialup connection. Which, actually, isn't really bad.

*fanged niko* Tin-oneesama, how long ago did you promise me that TSK fluff fic? HOOOOWWWW long ago?